We’ll Always Have Intramurals, Hawk

It is definitely a sad and somber evening in the college football world. Dan Hawkins is out at Colorado. It is never a good thing when someone loses a job (/sensitive human emotions). But when a loud-mouth, terrible football coach is canned, no tears are shed (/realistic college football fan). Hawk will be forever immortalized with his bombastic rant on intramurals. If by some miracle you’ve never heard the tirade, or you just haven’t heard it in the last five minutes, here you go. Hawk’s manical diatribe is like a cold beer on a college football Saturday. It never fails to bring happiness.

But when I actually listen to Hawk’s message, my smile fades. He’s trying to clown intramurals and that just won’t stand. You see, I played intramurals. Sonny and I were actually pretty damn good intramural players back in our time (/Al Bundy moment). We captured the Intramural B campus championship in 1994 in one of the most legendary intramural contests ever at UF (/no imperical evidence exists to counter this claim). It was late second half, the Bundy’s (/yeah, that was our name, we knew how abyssmal our future’s were) were down by 2. Facing a game-deciding fourth down, Sonny dragged some toes along the sideline for the conversion. That setup the game-winning TD grab by yours truly, a double pass that was pulled down in front of the safety in the end zone Dwight Clark style. The championship was ours and we still have the t-shirts to prove it. This game was so monumental, they still talk about it in Gainesville (/when we go back, we talk about it with each other).

So Dan Hawkins, fuck you, on behalf of intramural warriors everywhere. Here’s this week’s rankings:

1. Oregon
2. Auburn
3. Boise State
4. TCU
5. LSU
6. Stanford
7. Wisconsin
8. Nebraska
9. Ohio State
10. Oklahoma State
11. Michigan State
12. Alabama
13. Arkansas
14. Utah
15. Iowa
16. Arizona
17. Mississippi State
18. Oklahoma
19. Missouri
20. Virginia Tech
21. Nevada
22. South Carolina
23. Florida
24. Texas A&M
25. UCF

Quick thoughts on the rankings… no matter how you feel about Boise State and TCU, there is no doubt they deserve to be in the conversation. What will really be interesting is if Auburn loses to Alabama, will LSU (or another one-loss team, maybe Auburn!!) move past them in the BCS rankings? That would be a travesty… ranking the final 3 or 4 teams is like choosing between McDonald’s and Taco Bell for dinner. You hate all the choices and know that no matter what you do, your ending up on the throne splashing.

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