The Inaugural Bourbon Meyer College Football Poll

If Phil Steele can continue to crank out his preseason poll and get tons of press for it, why can’t we? I mean seriously, Phil Steele?

We’ve crunched the numbers through our super computers (a Commodore 64, an Atari 2600 and a black market state-of-the-art Fujitsi) and come up with the greatest preseason poll in the history of polls. In all honesty, all of us were pretty thrilled with our polls individually. But when we whipped them out, showed them to each other and then combined them into one massive poll, the results were quite stunning.

So without further ado, here’s the inaugural Bourbon Meyer college football poll:

1. Alabama

2. Ohio State

3. Florida

4. Boise State

5. Texas

6. Oklahoma

7. Virginia Tech

8. TCU

9. Iowa

10. Nebraska

11. Miami

12. Wisconsin

13. Oregon State

14. Penn State

15. USC

16. Pitt

17. Oregon

18. Georgia Tech

19. Georgia

20. Auburn

21. Arkansas

22. North Carolina

23. LSU

24. Florida State

25. Michigan

Some notes… I mean can you rank anyone besides Darth Saban’s Tide #1? The usual suspects populate our top 10. We were high on Oklahoma and Florida because of the ‘stache power they possess at the quarterback position. Given our innate hatred of Miami, Florida State and Georgia, we are quite proud of ourselves for honestly saying all three are going to be better than they were last season. We’re higher on the Beavers than most… but really given all the talk earlier about our giant, massive polls, how could we not show some love for the Beavers (yes, we’re REALLY immature). Lane Violation’s Trojans present an interesting dilemma… half of us didn’t even rank them. But this is SC’s last hurrah for a while. Once the current studs depart, they’ll be hard pressed to reload with so many missing scholarships. So we think there is some Auburn ’93 potential in Los Angeles, including the coach who has his job because of his Daddy. And lastly, that’s not a misprint, Michigan cracks our poll. This was an ode to the respect we have for Rich-Rod, the trust in Tate Forcier’s growth and the return to glory of the Maize and Blue defense…. hell, who are we kidding. This was purely an accident. Sonny Beam’s poll had the Wolverines #2 because Sonny chose to duplicate the final AP Top 25 from 1985. Again, this is scientific shit, better recognize.

We’ll update throughout the season. And we fully expect the BM poll to become part of the BCS formula in 2012. Harris got nothing on us.

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