ESPN is reporting the arrival of Texas A&M into the SEC, with an announcement coming on Monday. The report also includes Missouri out of the Big 12 and Clemson and FSU out of the ACC as other expansion options. There are plenty of posts out there about the possibility of a 16 team SEC and how great that would be for college football and an eventual playoff system. Bourbon Meyer sees it differently, we would rather the SEC just stay the way it is. We are perfect, and you do NOT mess with perfection. We are completely dominating the BCS Championship landscape and the rest of the country hates us. Right where we want to be.
But if the powers that be want us to expand then the least we could do is take this opportunity to completely screw FSU. No Florida Gator fan wants the Florida State Seminoles in our conference. So instead of taking Clemson and FSU, lets take Clemson and Virginia Tech. The idea of stranding FSU in a completely depleted ACC gives us goose bumps. Good luck being considered a football powerhouse playing teams like Miami, Duke, Maryland, Georgia Tech, and North Carolina all the time.
If we are inviting others to the SEC Party here’s what we’d say to them…
Texas A&M – (reluctantly) Welcome to the SEC and congratulations on giving the big F-you to Texas and the Big 12. For that we salute you. Bring some extra beer and try not to rock the boat.
Clemson – If we are forced to invite others to this SEC party then you are more than welcome to tag-along. You have a fantastic college football culture and the idea of screwing with the ‘ole ball coach at South Carolina makes us happy. Bring some bourbon, and not the cheap stuff. You tend to promise the goods but end up supplying Old Crow to the party.
Missouri – You were unfortunately an after thought invite. We probably need someone to keep Texas A&M company so it sounds like you got the invite too. We don’t expect you to bring much to the SEC atmosphere, but make sure you don’t take anything away from it either. Don’t get to drunk and make out with an Aggie.
FSU – Man this is tough, uhhh we mistakenly mailed Virginia Tech’s invitation to you. So piss off. BTW – No way in hell we’ll even put your logo on our site.
Virginia Tech – We’ll call you on Monday hoss. We all know you considered the ACC a temporary stop in the first place. But we have to talk about losing to Boise State and James Madison…unacceptable, don’t ever let it happen again.