Florida Football is fun again

HappyGators1

Picture Courtesy of Ryan Jones

It had been 336 days since Florida last won a football game. On Saturday afternoon in The Swamp, Gator Nation let out a huge collective sigh of relief – and excitement – as Will Muschamp’s guys absolutely demolished Eastern Michigan, 65-0.

After some weather forecasts called for a 100% chance of rain in Gainesville on Saturday afternoon, many Florida fans were hoping lightning wouldn’t be a factor either. We didn’t need that, especially not for a second straight week. But the football gods finally found favor in the Orange and Blue as the dark clouds somehow skirted around Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. The sun even peeked through for a while; it was hot, but I doubt anyone in venue objected to the temperature. We were watching football – and high quality football at that.

Check out these numbers courtesy of ESPN Stats & Info:
-65 points are the most since 2008
-655 total yards are the most since 2010
-33 pass completions and 47 pass attempts are both the most since 2002
-6 plays of 30+ yards are the most since 2008

11 different players hauled in a pass, with Demarcus Robinson leading the way with 6 catches for 123 yards and a TD. No player had more than 10 carries on the ground, but the top three rushers (Taylor, Jones and Brown) each had a run over 30 yards and the Gators as a whole racked up 259 rushing yards. The passing game was solid too. I don’t think Jeff Driskel played all that great (just 5.5 yards per completion), but he avoided silly turnovers was efficient enough (68% completions) to make Gator fans very happy. Freshman QB Treon Harris may have had the best mop-up performance ever: 2 for 2, 148 yards and 2 TDs. One of those was a nice deep ball to Robinson who shrugged off the defender and walked into the end zone, and the other was a post pattern bullet to Mark Herndon, who split the safeties and housed it.

That defense played alright too. They held EMU to 125 total yards, forced 5 turnovers and pitched their first shutout since 2012. 31 different defensive players saw the field. D.J. Durkin’s crew played angry and executed the schemes to near-perfection. Linebacker Neuron Ball led the way with six tackles, two sacks and a forced fumble. Freshman DB Duke Dawson had a pick six in his first career game. That is what an SEC defense is supposed to do against a much weaker opponent. Not much more needs to be said, other than that Gator Nation should feel confident about this unit moving forward.

Sans two kickoffs out of bounds from Austin Hardin, special teams were very good. Fresh off his brand new scholarship, Francisco Velez went 3 for 3 on his field goals and Kyle Christy punted the ball like he did in 2012. In other news, the sky is blue, water is wet and Andre Debose is still very dangerous in the return game. The sixth year senior nearly sent the stadium into a frenzy in the 3rd quarter with a punt return that made at least five EMU defenders look silly. It was #4 on SportsCenter’s Top 10 Plays, and probably could have been #1 if he reached the end zone. Regardless, we’ll see Debose do plenty of that this season.

Now before fans start touting UF as a team that could win the SEC after one game, Eastern Michigan is not exactly a quality football team. In Will Muschamp’s tenure at Florida, his teams have usually had issues with penalties. That did not change on Saturday: 10 penalties for 100 yards. It was overshadowed by the great play in every other aspect of the game, but it’s something that should be noted. The Gators did not exit the day unscathed on the injury front either. Heralded tight end transfer Jake McGee brought a lot of promise to the position that was virtually non-existent last season, but he went down in the second quarter with a broken leg. He is out for the season. Left tackle D.J. Humphries also sustained a bone chip in his ankle that will sideline him for two to three weeks (that may include the Alabama game). In 2012, the big motto from Muschamp in reference to injuries was “man down, man up.” In 2013, it seemed like it was just “man down, man down.” We shall see what happens in 2014.

For now there are positives aplenty for Florida fans, who have justifiable reason to be very excited about Kurt Roper’s offense as they face tougher defenses down the line. Something else that should be fun? This week’s Chomp Chat podcast (Episode 1 | Episode 2)! SHAMELESS PLUG! We’d love to get your thoughts on the Eastern Michigan game and what you might expect to see against Kentucky next Saturday, so shoot us an email at thechompchat@gmail.com and we’ll address your question on the program. Also, our question of the week from the previous show: What’s the strangest scenario (weather or otherwise) you’ve encountered at a University of Florida athletic event? Send your stories to that same address. Be sure to tune into the show and share with your friends!

P.S. If you’re attending the game against Kentucky, WEAR ORANGE!

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In All Kinds of Weather – Chomp Chat Podcast Episode 2

The “rain out” of the Idaho game can be described in one tweet…

Take a listen to Chomp Chat Podcast Episode 2 properly entitled “In All Kinds of Weather”!!! Relive the the weather experience, but enjoy the Eastern Michigan preview as well…

 

And because God wants to make things interesting…check out the weather forecast for THIS Saturday…
Weather

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#ChompChat Transcript

On Wednesday August 27th Adam Silverstein from OnlyGators.com and Andy Hutchins from AlligatorArmy.com along with our very own Scott Francis from OurTwoBits.com participated in a Twitter Chat, answering GATOR NATION’s questions about Gator Football. Enjoy. Read from bottom to top.


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What is Chomp Chat?

The term “Gator Nation” is often used to describe the close knit family-like atmosphere of being a part of the University of Florida culture and “way of life”. It’s a big draw, and it creates an incredible feeling to be a part of that legacy.

Here’s a dirty little secret: that close knit family-like atmosphere does not always necessarily extend to the journalists and fan blog sites that cover the University of Florida. Whether its the pressure to break the story first or take a new angle on an existing story or just general personality conflicts these rifts are noticeable through sniping via social media or flat out ignoring the existence of another Gator entity; some folks just do not get along. And I think we can all agree that that is NOT what Gator Nation is about. The ones most hurt by this are the Gator fans, whether they are aware of it or not.

As an exercise in co-operation, in an effort to heal wounds, but most importantly to provide more value back to Gator Nation as a whole….”Chomp Chat” was born. Chomp Chat started as a formal twitter chat utilizing the #ChompChat hashtag. Gators fans online can submit questions the day of the chat or even during the chat and have them answered by various journalists and fan sites that follow the Gators religiously.

Chomp Chat has become widely popular and has already been praised by Gatorzone, the official Florida Athletics website, and current/past athletes. The third instance of the chat is happening this week with @OnlyGators, @AlligatorArmy, and @OurTwoBits answering your questions. Please join us…

ChompChat

In an effort to continue the good will and offer a non-social media related platform, a Chomp Chat podcast has also been launched. The first episode hit the internet this week and features University of Florida students Lucas Dolengowski and Morgan Moriarty, along with Andy Hutchins from AlligatorArmy.com and Scott Francis from OurTwoBits.com.  Gator fans can find the audio here…

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Gator “Summer Nights”

[scene opens with defensive coaches sitting in bleachers after practice chatting] Defense DJ Durkin: “Hey, I wanna hear about what Will did in the offseason.” [The other defensive coaches begin to clamor] Will Muschamp: “Ah, it was nothing.” Brad Lawing: “Aw, sure, nothing, Muschamp, right?” Travaris Robinson: “C’mon, Will. You got a new offensive coordinator, right?” Durkin: “Yeah, c’mon, c’mon, tell us about that OC.” [cut to the offensive coaches in the cafeteria] Offense Chris Leak: “What’d you do this offseason, Kurt?” Kurt Roper: “Oh, I spent most of it here in Gainesville. I met a coach here.” Brian White: “You hauled your cookies all the way here to Gainesville for some coach?” Roper: “He was sorta special.” White: “There ain’t no such thing.” Roper: “He was really likable.” [cut back to defensive coaches begging Muschamp for details] Muschamp: “C’mon, you don’t wanna hear all the boring details.” [The coaches continue to prod him] Muschamp: “Alright! I’ll tell you!”

♫ Offseason love had me a blast Offseason love happened so fast I met an OC crazy for me Met a coach sad as can be

Pro-style days drifting away To, uh oh, those up-tempo nights

Well-a well-a well-a huh Will we score, will we score? Will we get very far? Will we score, will we score? Is Jeff Driskel a star?

He came from Duke, looked good in camp He called me up, “This is Muschamp.” Please save my job, I’m going to drown He needs points, and some first downs

Summer sun, something’s begun But, oh, oh, the up-tempo nights

Well-a well-a well-a huh Will we score, will we score? Can you fix this shit show? Will we score, will we score? Will we beat Idaho?

Gonna throw deep touchdowns all day We’ll hurry up and run every play Scoring points would be a shock Let’s all pray that the line blocks

The spring game, don’t mean a thing But, oh, oh, the up-tempo nights

Will we score, will we score? We’ve got some tricks in the bag Will we score, will we score? Last year made us all gag

We”ll score fifty with so much ease We’ll all forget about Brent Pease Will said he won’t intervene Kurt is good, you know what I mean?

Summer heat, two coaches meet But, oh, oh, the up-tempo nights

Will we score, will we score? Are we bucking the trend? Will we score, will we score? Tell me, how does this end?

The season nears, time to compete This has to work or we’re deadmeat Then we made our coaching vow We know we have to win now

Pro-style dreams ripped at the seams But, oh, oh, those up-tempo niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiights Will we score, will we scoooooorrrrrrrre? ♫

– This exercise in creative writing was done by Blake Edwards and the creator of the Muschamp Intensity Meter.

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2014 Gator Football Predictions

The Our Two Bits Team has been pathetic at providing you all with content this summer. We’re sorry. It’s hot, and we’re tired. Anyways, with Gator football kicking off its 2014 season in less than two weeks (!!!) the OTB team put together 2,000 words with our sure to be incorrect predictions for how the Orange and Blue will do this fall. Enjoy!

Paul Sjoberg:

Finishing record: 8-4, Second in the SEC East

Wins: Idaho, Eastern Michigan, Kentucky, Tennessee, Missouri, Georgia, Vandy, Eastern Kentucky

Losses: Alabama, LSU, USC, FSU

Will Muschamp is a defensive coach searching for his “offensive” match. Let’s face it. The offensive coordinator job has been a dead man walking under Muschamp’s tenor year in and year out. So I won’t be around the bush. If Kurt Roper is the “ying” to Muschamp’s “yang” then the Gators go 9-3, or maybe even surprise some people going 10-2.

But honestly I think our schedule has 8-4 written ALL OVER IT! If a couple of losses are close losses against GREAT teams and the offense looks much improved then Muschamp keeps his job for another year. If the “offensive” stench continues then fans can start obsessing over the “next” Gator Football coach (Kliff Klingsbury?). Maybe even recycling a few of the old standbys (Shanahan, Spurrier, Stoops)?!

Just continue to pray and hope beyond ALL hope that the Gators stay healthy. Would love to see us get a fair shake from the injury gods.

Blake Edwards, Formerly known as The Unsportsmanlike Gentleman:

Finishing record: 9-3, First in the SEC East.

I’m trying so hard to be optimistic that my ears are bleeding as I type this. My fingers didn’t want to type nine wins, they kept hitting six, but that has more to do with demonic possession than my opinion on Florida’s season. Anywho, the majority of experts, pundits, analysts, journalists, bloggers, radio hosts, TV personalities, Twitter folk, message board folk, and man and woman on the street all seem to think that Alabama, Georgia, LSU, and South Carolina will easily replace a really good quarterback.

Florida’s defense will be fine as usual, so a first year quarterback against Florida’s defense does not favor the opponent’s offense. HAIL SATAN! Er, whoa, um, sorry about that. Not myself. Anyway, the concerns for Florida are health and the offense. Assuming they stay relatively healthy, the offense will be improved since it won’t take much. There’s enough talent at the skill positions to move the ball efficiently and score.bamaflorida

The biggest concern I have about the team as a whole is the offensive line. The starting five should be serviceable, but if injuries besiege them again, you can lower my prediction of nine wins to six six six…gah, sorry about that. Darn fingers. Please leave me be, spirit! Back to Florida, I just don’t trust the depth along the line yet.

I’m not saying they don’t have talent, but they’re young and inexperienced and it scares me to the point that I just want to pull the bed sheets over my head and hope it all goes away, like when I was possessed by The Devil. Only the bed sheets didn’t protect me from El Diablo. I just hope the line does a better job of protecting ALL HAIL SATAN AND HIS KINGDOM! LEEF YM REWOP EDISNI OUY. EHT SSENKRAD SESSESSOP OUY. REHTEGOT EW LLAHS NGIER ROF YTINRETE!

Lucas Dolengowski

Finishing record: 9-3, First in the SEC East

Maybe it’s overconfidence in Kurt Roper’s new offense, or maybe it’s just wishful thinking that there won’t be any catastrophic injuries, but I’m picking Florida to go 9-3 (6-2 SEC) and win the East. I’m predicting a loss up in Tuscaloosa and expecting one loss and one win between the Tiger games, leaning more towards the win being against Mizzou.

I fully believe this is the year Will Muschamp gets over the hump and defeats Georgia in the World’s Largest Scoreboard Party. Uh, I mean cocktail. I think the Dawgs will go as far as their defense takes them, which I see as 5-3 in the conference with losses at South Carolina, either at Mizzou or Arkansas, and finally to the Gators. Missouri will be good once again this season, but not having Michael Sam and Kony Ealy on the pass rush (along with the loss of Dorial Green-Beckham) will really hurt. I’ve Missouri them going 6-2 in the conference with defeats at the hands of USC and UF.

I have the Gamecocks losing at Auburn for their first SEC loss, which will set up November 15th as a winner-goes-to-Atlanta matchup in The Swamp. I think the defense will find a way to contain Mike Davis and supply pressure to Dylan Thompson as they eke out the Head Ball Coach for a berth in the SEC Championship.

I find it difficult to see the Orange & Blue taking down FSU up at Doak with a healthy Jameis; however, it is a rivalry game and I’ve seen much weirder things happen. The Gators might drop a close one in the Georgia Dome too-probably against Bama.

Bowl game: Florida vs. Texas in the Will Muschamp-Charlie Strong ALL THE STORYLINES (Cotton) Bowl! Coach Boom takes down his former employer and keeps his job with a 10-4 final mark.

Morgan Moriarty

Finishing record: 7-5, Third in the SEC East

Okay yes, I realize I have the lowest expectations of the OTB Team for this Florida Gator team, but I’ll serve the Ms. Rational role within this post.

First off, I’m penciling in losses at Florida State and Alabama. There’s simply way too much talent returning in Tuscaloosa and Tallahassee on both sides of the ball. I know Alabama still doesn’t have its quarterback situation figured out yet, but with the deep running back corps and wide receivers the Tide has, whoever the starter is simply has to be a game manager under Lane Kiffin. And yes, to your dismay, Kiffin will excel as a coordinator at Alabama this season.

muschamp stare

The LSU game will be close, but the Tigers’ experienced offensive line will benefit whoever their starting quarterback is. Not to mention they have a true freshman running back in Leonard Fournette who was compared to both Michael Jordan and Adrian Peterson during SEC Media Days. A kid who is getting that much praise and he hasn’t even played a down of college ball yet? Must be pretty darn good.

I think Florida is capable of beating Missouri, especially with that game being at home. The toss up game for me is South Carolina. I do have SC winning the East, but that’s if Dylan Thompson can prove to be legit. Mike Davis is one of the best running backs in the country, so he’s not a concern.

It seems that Muschamp should in his fourth try finally beat Georgia this season, but it’s going to be no easy task. The Dawgs have, in my opinion, the best running back in the country in Todd Gurley. Don’t believe me? Just watch the final seven minutes of last season’s game in Jacksonville—maybe then you’ll believe me. He single-handedly ran down that entire clock to seal the Dawgs’ victory last year.

Pair that with a potential healthy Keith Marshall and the Dawg’s backfield is lethal. Replacing Aaron Murray at quarterback is tough, but Hutson Mason is a fifth year senior and has a skill set scarily very similar to Murray’s. Not to mention Mark Richt hired Jeremy Pruitt, one of the best defensive coordinators in the country this offseason.

Seven wins doesn’t cut it for Will Muschamp, and Jeremy Foley is forced to let Coach Boom go—which conveniently puts Kliff Kingsbury as a dark horse to replace him. (I know this will never happen, but LET ME DREAM PEOPLE!)

Shawn Kopelakis

Finishing Record: 8-4, Third in the SEC East

The health of this team so far this preseason [knocks on every piece of wood in a 25-mile radius] and the general feeling that “we can’t play any worse than last season” has me cautiously optimistic for 2014.

With this defense, just by being semi-competent on offense for 5-6 drives per game will give the Gators a chance to win all but two games on the schedule: ‘Bama and That Team Out West. Georgia is the lynchpin for the whole season and it is no understatement to say Muschamp must win that game to survive the firing squad.

I’m not a big believer in Jeff Driskel, but I think Kurt Roper’s offense will make him and the offense better. I see an 8-4 season with a 5-3 SEC mark, including the key win in Jacksonville. Despite the four losses, I think we’ll actually enjoy watching most of Florida’s games this year, which will be a whole lot of fun after the pain and agony of last season.

Losses to the Tide, Tigers, Cocks and Noles will keep Florida from returning to prominence, though, and force Jeremy Foley into another tough decision to keep plugging away with Muschamp or to blow it up and start over.

Scott Francis

Finishing Record: 11-3, First in the SEC East

This upcoming season has been called the #RevengeTour, but perhaps a better moniker would be the, “If this, then that” year. No doubt we’ll be better, we can’t be much worse. However, I think we are back to the norm of our season hinging on the four games that could go either way. This year, those are: Missouri, LSU, Georgia and South Carolina. Here’s how I see it.

driskelmia

Week 1 vs Idaho: We win and either cover or almost cover. Florida Football is fun again. Yay!

Week 2 vs EMU: We win with lots of rushing yards out of vanilla formations.

Week 3 vs Kentucky: Another year, another win. Hell, they went 0-3 against Florida in the sport that they ARE good at.

Week 4 at Alabama: While I have penciled this in in DARK pencil as a loss, there is an “If this, then that” component to this one. We have a chance if we can maintain some possession and keep the defense off the field and if Alabama doesn’t have their QB situation all figured out at this point, our defense could create some havoc and and we could steal one. However, this game CAN’T be at night in Bryant Denny.

Week 6 at Tennessee: If Justin Worley is still their QB, they’re toast. If Josh Dobbs has taken the reigns by then, they’ve got a puncher’s chance. Ultimately, I don’t think Tennessee is ready yet. They’ve eventually got to break this streak. This isn’t the year.

Week 7 vs LSU: The first of the “either way games”. I actually don’t think much of LSU’s offense and where they are at the QB position, but then again, they played for a National Title with the PuPu Platter of Lee and Jefferson splitting time a few years ago. Given that we played them pretty tough last year when they were good and we were offensively anemic, I think we take this one by 10 or more. Big day for Austin Hardin in this one.

Week 8 vs. Mizzou: I went out to Columbia last year and I left saying that they were the only team last year that legitimately kicked our ass all over the place. I left saying they could win the SEC. They aren’t the same team this year.  Maty Mauk will be good, but without that NBA-like stable of receivers and losing a lot on defense, I think their status is a bit overstated this year. Gators win handily.

Week 10: Georgia: Nothing has changed how I’ve felt about this game. It is the ultimate toss up and the ultimate “If this, then that” game. If we don’t turn it over 6 times, if we don’t let Gurley gain 750 total yards in a half, etc. I think the difference here is the bye week. And no more Aaron Murray, either. That SOB was a Will Hill INT away from possibly being 4-0 in his career vs. Florida. He’s gone, and I think Florida snaps the mini-streak and gets Muschamp his biggest win at Florida.

Week 11 at Vandy: Last year was some bullshit and we all know it. They’re not terrible, but order is restored in the universe here.

Week 12 vs South Carolina: Everything in me says that Carolina is not as good as everyone thinks. They just lost 2 of the best players in program history in Jadeveon Clowney and Connor Shaw. Mike Davis is good, but I don’t think he’s a strong enough leader to carry a team of this make up. Florida wins.

Week 13 vs. EKU: I won’t blow off this pick since, you know Georgia Southern, but Florida wins and back up quarterbacks see action.

Week 14 at FSU: OK, so I have an unreasonable hunch that Jameis Winston is going to get injured this year. There is no basis for it, just a feeling. Maybe it’s because all returning Heisman Trophy winners get hurt. Anyway, it’s rare for me to pick us to win at this place without us flat out having a better team, which I’m not sure we do. Florida gets the short end here. If you’re keeping track, Florida is 10-2 (8-1) after the FSU game. Oooooh baby!!

This sets up a rematch against Alabama in the SEC Championship Game. Unfortunately, that loss puts us out of College Football Playoff contention.

We follow that up with a pedestrian win over Wisconsin in the Outback Bowl to finish 11-3. Most importantly, it will be more entertaining to watch than the past 2 seasons.

Dustin Davis

Finishing Record: 8-4, Third in the SEC East

Let me start by saying that the two SEC institutions from which I hold a degree, Arkansas and Florida, went a combined 8-17 last year.  I haven’t seen either of my Alma Maters win since October 5th, 2013—consequently, Florida beat Arkansas on October 5, so it almost feels like that day of my life never happened.  My prediction is clearly skewed by wanting—no—NEEDING one of these teams to win.  The Hogs are still recovering from an incident involving a motorcycle and He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. Needless to say, I’m pinning my hopes on the Gators this year.

Unfortunately, the Gators have a brutal schedule.  I think the defense will be solid again and the offensive success will depend on the offensive line’s ability to protect as well as Driskel’s ability to produce.  I’m choosing to be optimistic because if I get any more depressed about football my wife will have to start hiding the vodka and Lady Schick razor blades.

dunbar

I’ve got the Gators starting at 3-0 before getting their teeth kicked in at Bama.  We find a way to split the next four games.  We upset South Carolina at home because well, I don’t have a good reason, but it sounds like fun.  The Gators go to Tallahassee and lose despite sending crab legs with cocaine laced butter to a certain quarterback’s room the night before the game.

Billy Heilman

Finishing Record: 9-3

I’m hoping for 9-3 and I can’t envision anything better than that no matter how hard I try.

Florida will be much improved but have too many SEC teams on the schedule, which is a pretty common problem amongst SEC teams.

In addition to the 2 “gimme” losses of Bama and FSU, I think they drop the home game against USC. I like us to beat UGA coming off a bye, even though the Dawgs got smart and started taking a bye week before the game also. The stretch that worries me is the LSU and Missouri back-to-back games. I feel good about those games bring at home, but if the season is going to fall apart, this is where it will be.

 

 

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Your First True Florida Experience – A Florida Football Guide for the Class of 2018

My inaugural piece for OurTwoBits.com is addressed to the UF Class of 2018. But before I discuss what you can expect on your first game day in Ben Hill Griffin Stadium, let me tell you a little bit about myself.

My name is Lucas Dolengowski and I am a senior telecommunications major. Some of you may recognize me as a radio personality on ESPN 850 WRUF; however, my more prominent role is as President of the Men’s Basketball Rowdies student organization (Shameless plug – follow us on Twitter/Instagram @MBKRowdies). You can find me in the front row of just about every home basketball game. While hoops are my passion, I am a HUGE sports fan in general. The Packers, Yankees, Red Wings and Pistons (yes, I know they’re rather scattered geographically) are my teams. I’ve aspired to be a sports broadcaster since the age of ten, and I’ve already started to live that dream at the greatest school in the world. One caveat to all this: I actually grew up a Gator hater. I’m almost ashamed to say it, but it was true. Originally from The Great Lakes State, I was raised as a Michigan Wolverine and a brother of the Big Ten. Even as a resident of Orlando for 15+ years, when it came to Florida and the SEC…I was, as the kids say these days, not about that life.

lucas1

But when I received my acceptance letter back in 2011, I knew immediately that this was the place for me. Gator Nation and the city of Gainesville both have a way of latching onto your heart and not letting go. That’s why I am writing this for all the newcomers on campus as the Florida football season opener approaches. Some of you freshmen have grown up in households that bleed orange and blue, or you have already witnessed a football game in The Swamp. But for the majority, your true induction into the Florida family will take place on August 30th.

My very first Gator game was back in 2010 (my senior year of high school, and I had just applied to UF), when Florida lost to LSU thanks to the infamous fake field goal. It was a fun experience despite the loss, but it didn’t really get me riled up. Fast forward to September 3, 2011: my first game as a student. Florida Atlantic was in town for the season opener, a night game, and Coach Muschamp’s debut. His defense suffocated the Owls and the Orange & Blue were victorious, 41-3. Jeff Driskel even played in mop-up duty.

lucas2

While I remember quite a bit about what happened in The Swamp that night, what comes to mind first are the emotions I felt; these are likely the emotions you’ll feel too. At first, anxiety – the only negative things about night games is that you wait around ALL DAY just wanting to get into the stadium.  Once you’ve flashed your Gator1 and scanned your ticket, there is nothing like the feeling that arises when you walk through the tunnel to your section. The 90,000 seats are filling with fans, the music is bumping, players are warming up, and a plethora of different scents pierces the humidity. Soak this in, because this experience – the first experience – is the most satisfying. When Chubbs (ironically, whose hand was bit off by a gator) tells Happy Gilmore, “Go to your happy place,” that’s one of the moments I would choose. You likely will too.

As kickoff nears, your adrenaline will peak when the video of alligators swimming plays to the chorus of thousands of hands chomping in unison. There is no better entrance in college football. Guaranteed. From there, just enjoy yourselves and cheer the Gators on to victory. Cherish the opportunity you have to take part in the amazing tradition that is Florida football.

To sum it all up, here are some tips and suggestions for your first football game as a student at the University of Florida:

  1. Get into the stadium early. I recommend 30-45 minutes before kickoff. You avoid long lines at the student ticket gates. Not only that, but you DEFINITELY don’t want to miss the traditional “Orange! Blue!” cheer, Mr. Two Bits, the “Gators” spell out, or the team running out of the tunnel.
  2. I certainly do not condone underage drinking. However, if you do decide to drink, do it in moderation. You don’t want to be the token drunk guy/girl in the student section. People want to watch the game, not take care of you.
  3. Learn the words to the fight song, alma mater and “We Are The Boys.” Your friends will be impressed and will probably want to follow suit.
  4. THE GATOR CHOMP IS RIGHT ARM OVER LEFT ARM. Please execute this correctly.
  5. When the Gators score, high five anyone and everyone in your vicinity. Don’t just limit your excitement to your group of friends. We’re all a part of Gator Nation!
  6. Don’t leave the contest early, no matter the score. Your post game debauchery can wait a few extra minutes. And when the clock does hit zero, head over towards the band and sing the alma mater with the team.
  7. And most importantly…BE LOUD!

—-

I look forward to seeing all of you at The Swamp and in the O’Connell Center this year! You can follow me on Twitter @LDolengowski and @MBKRowdiesPrez. Good luck and GO GATORS!

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Florida Season Preview: Best and Worst Case Scenarios

A guest post from some guy on the internet…he can be found on twitter, @Allawallakoala. He’s famous for the Muschamp Intensity Meter.

Florida Season Preview

I’ve been reading all of the preseason publications this summer and the general narrative of every single one of them is that Florida went 4-8 last year and no one knows what to expect this coming season. Also, Florida went 4-8 in case you hadn’t heard. 4-8. Did you see this? Did you hear about this? Yeah, turns out, Florida went 4-8. HIYOOOO! 4-8.

Well, I’m sick and tired of reading about it! It’s a new year! It’s time to kick some ass! WHO’S WITH ME?? Hold on. Is Muschamp still the head coach? Oh goddammit. You guys still want to do this? Really? OK. Well, here are the best and worst case scenarios for every position.

Quarterbacks
Best Case:
  The silver lining in Jeff Driskel’s season ending injury last season is that it gave him the redshirt year he needed, but didn’t receive as a freshman to develop mentally. The time off allows him to clear his mind, become a better leader, gain confidence, watch film, and get a better understanding of what defenses are doing. He stays healthy in 2014 and proves to be a perfect fit for Kurt Roper’s offense. We see a more confident, calm, decisive Driskel on the field as he plays his way into becoming an All-SEC QB. Will Grier or Treon Harris emerges as the backup and gains valuable experience in mop-up duty and package plays, keeping Driskel fresh while the other freshman redshirts.

Worst Case: Driskel sees his reflection in the mirror one day and becomes frightened that a doppelganger from another dimension has found its way to Earth and is here to exterminate him. Fearing his inevitable demise, he hides in a panic room for the next three decades. Will Grier is named the starter, but is immediately eaten by bees. Not even stung. They just straight up eat his ass. Treon Harris falls into the very same portal that Ozzie Smith fell into in that episode of The Simpsons where Mr. Burns hires a team of Major League Baseball players to play for his company softball team. This leaves Skyler Mornhinweg as the starting quarterback once again.

Running Backs
Best Case:
 Matt Jones comes back healthy and he and Kelvin Taylor form one of the best RB tandems in the SEC, if not the country, alongside T.J. Yeldon and Derrick Henry at Alabama. Mack Brown continues to be a solid third option and Adam Lane impresses when he is called upon.

Worst Case: Jones is kidnapped by a Mexican drug cartel for reasons unknown. Brown, Lane, and freshman Brandon Powell fly into Mexico to rescue him, but are also captured. This leaves Kelvin Taylor to carry the ball a record 511 times. At the end of the season, he is forced to retire from football after playing through nine concussions, a broken clavicle, a broken ulna, four broken ribs, a punctured lung, a severed finger, a ruptured spleen, a herniated disc, a strained oblique, a torn pec, a torn groin, a torn hamstring, a torn ACL, a broken kneecap, a torn Achilles tendon, several broken bones in each foot, and turf toe. Taylor only gains 510 yards.

Wide Receivers
Best Case:
 Chris Leak proves to be a competent position coach. Quinton Dunbar continues to be a reliable target while making more big plays. Demarcus Robinson becomes the player we all think he can be and becomes a stud. Ahmad Fullwood also breaks out and becomes a well-rounded receiver while using his 6’5” frame to dominate in the red zone. Latroy Pittman builds off his strong spring and finds a role in Roper’s offense in the slot. Andre Debose is finally healthy and is the deep threat Florida needs. One or two of the young guys step up and become another reliable option.

Worst Case: Chris Leak removes his mask to reveal he is Bush Hamdan. One day, the receivers all decide to go on a field trip to Chuck E. Cheese and board a bus. The bus swerves to avoid hitting a clown masturbating in the road and plunges over one of the many cliffs in Gainesville. Debose is the lone survivor and is granted a seventh year of eligibility, which he accepts. He plays 2015 under his seventh different position coach.

Offensive Line
Best Case:
 The line stays healthy. That’s it. Just stay healthy. This is the only position on the offense I’m honestly worried about. I’m not worried about Driskel or the quarterbacks. I’m not worried about Chris Leak taking over a group of talented, but unproven receivers. I’m not worried about the tight ends or running backs. I’m terrified about the line. It hasn’t been good for years and not coincidentally, neither has the offense. If the starting five doesn’t stay healthy, the team will have to rely on freshmen and that’s not the position you want to be in. They have bodies, but no one behind the starting line has played a down in college outside of Trip Thurman and JUCO transfer Drew Sarvary.

Worst Case: They don’t stay healthy. If they don’t stay healthy and the freshman don’t grow up in a hurry, it will be more of the same from the offense and we’ll all continue to be sad and miserable and angry and we’ll throw things. It will start with a soda, then a hot dog, then a rock, then a baby, then you’ll go to jail for that last one, but I’ll bust you out and we’ll go on the lam. We’ll head down to South America and lay low. I’ll find a beautiful Brazilian woman and fall in love, but you’ll fall in love with her too. A fight will ensue and in the heat of the moment I will smash your head with a rock killing you. Once again, I will be on the lam, but this time alone. I will leave a letter to my Brazilian love, Sophia, explaining why I can never see her again, but she will never see it because she will have run off with another man. I will never learn of this other man or that she never loved me to begin with and that I was just an American fling for her. I will spend the rest of my life pining for her wondering what could have been as I drink myself to death alone in a cabin in the unforgiving cold of northern Saskatchewan.

Tight Ends
Best Case:
 Virginia transfer Jake McGee is the much needed tight end target for Driskel. Tevin Westbrook and Clay Burton never ever have a pass thrown to them again and are asked only to do what they do well, which is block and get yelled at by Muschamp. Freshman Deandre Goolsby is good enough to earn playing time and gives Florida a second target with McGee.

Worst Case: McGee needs to write a paper on Babylonian king, Hammurabi. Instead of going to Wikipedia, he builds a functional time machine with the help of the three freshmen tight ends, Goolsby, C’yontai Lewis, and Moral Stephens. The four of them travel back to 1770 BC Babylon. While there, they become hungry, but with no local currency on them, they resort to each stealing a loaf of bread. They are caught and have their hands cut off. They return to the present day handless. Roper tells Driskel not to throw to Westbrook or Burton, but the two remaining hand-having tight ends hire a hypnotist to hypnotize Driskel, Roper, and Muschamp into thinking they are both Jimmy Graham. Driskel targets each tight end fifteen times a game. At season’s end, the tight ends are targeted a total of 365 times, but only catch one pass. That one catch was a ball that got stuck in Burton’s facemask and as he turned up field was immediately blasted by a linebacker that jarred the ball free resulting in a fumble that was returned for a touchdown.

Defensive Line
Best Case:
 Dante Fowler becomes Dominique Easley 2.0 and annihilates opposing offensive tackles and quarterbacks. Another defensive tackle or two steps up to man the interior alongside Leon Orr keeping Jonathan Bullard at end where he’s best suited and more comfortable. The incoming freshmen of Gerald Willis, Khari Clark, and Thomas Holley are as advertised and are too good to keep off the field.

Worst Case: Easley’s — now Fowler’s — Chucky doll is really possessed causing all sorts of havoc and murder among the defensive linemen. Every time they think they’ve killed it, it just keeps coming back. This continues for five more seasons when everyone is like, “Really? The formula was stale after the second one. How many more times can this possessed doll be revived? Who the hell keeps reviving it? Doesn’t anyone know how to properly dispose of a soul these days? These people are idiots. This is stupid. I’ve lost interest.”

Linebacker
Best Case:
 The unit bounces back after a sub-par year that saw their share of injuries. Antonio Morrison plays more disciplined and improves in pass coverage. Jarrad Davis forces himself into the starting lineup with his play. Neiron Ball provides a pass rush from the position. The other three linebackers from last year’s freshmen class, Daniel McMillan, Alex Anzalone, and Matt Rolin are fully healthy and ready to contribute.

Worst Case: All the linebackers read this season preview and take offense to me cracking jokes about their teammates and show up to my house and proceed to whoop my ass, which isn’t hard to do because I’m 5’7” 150 lbs. and I don’t like to fight or engage in any physical contact, which is why my football career only lasted a week in 8th grade after I hopped in the Oklahoma drill on the first day in full pads of JV practice. Squirrely little me, a 5’6” 125 lbs. wide receiver, was about to tangle with the hardest hitter on the team, a 6’0” 175 lbs. linebacker/safety. It ended as you would expect, with me taking three steps before I found myself on my back looking up at a very beautiful, clear blue, Florida sky. As my teammates mobbed the guy who just smeared me across the grass, my only thought in that moment was “Baseball. Yeah, I think I’ll stick to baseball if I want to live.” Anyway, enough about what a pussy I am and back to that ass whooping I’ve had coming for years. After the entire linebacker corps is done thoroughly caving my skull in, they are all arrested and kicked off the team. Florida plays the season with no linebackers and gives up an NCAA single season record of 5,122 rushing yards.

Secondary
Best Case:
 Vernon Hargreaves III locks down everything. I mean everything – receivers, running backs, tight ends, lockers, gates, doors, windows, cars, safes, even the internet. Instead of seeing “https” and an image of a padlock in your address bar for secure sites, you’ll see “VHIII” and an image of Vernon’s face. In addition to Hargreaves, freshman Jalen Tabor continues Florida’s recent success with starting true freshmen cornerbacks. Duke Dawson and Brian Poole provide excellent depth and make each other better competing for the starting nickel spot. The safeties, namely Marcus Maye and Jabari Gorman, are finally ready to assume the duties of being starters and are steady as the last line of defense.

Worst Case: Hargreaves goes to see Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie and it’s so bad his head explodes. The rest of the secondary sues Bay for Hargreaves’ death. Locked in a lengthy legal battle throughout the season, the secondary is distracted and unfocused during games resulting in an incalculable number of blown assignments and missed tackles. Adding insult to injury, the judge rules in favor of Bay.

Special Teams
Best Case:
 Like Caleb Sturgis, Austin Hardin figures it out after a couple of years and becomes a reliable, strong legged kicker. Kyle Christy returns to his sophomore form and does a remarkable job of flipping the field for the defense.

Worst Case: Desperate to become better, Hardin and Christy are approached by a man who claims he can make them each one of the greatest kickers and punters of all-time. The man promises Hardin the ability to drill an 80-yard field goal and Christy the ability to knock a ball out at the opponent’s 1-yard line. They both agree without thinking. In the first game of the season against Idaho, Hardin hits an 80-yarder on the first drive and Christy booms a beautiful punt that goes out at Idaho’s 1 on the second drive. On the sideline, the mysterious man appears. It turns out he’s the Devil and has returned to claim their souls and takes them with him back to Hell.

Season Outlook
Best Case:
 I think this team’s ceiling is ten wins and a trip to the SEC Championship Game. There are a lot of “if’s” involved in that, but the biggest key to the success of the season comes down to health, specifically Driskel and the offensive line. If they stay healthy, I think Kurt Roper will make a big difference with the offense. As long as Muschamp’s been at Florida, we’ve never had to worry about the defense, so the pressure is on the offense to score for the fourth consecutive year. The schedule is ruthless as always, but a lot of those teams are breaking in new quarterbacks and/or have question marks in other areas and Florida has enough talent on both sides of the ball to get to Atlanta. After last season, I have no idea how this season will play out. That’s not to say I know how any season will play out because I don’t, nor does anyone, but no one saw 4-8 coming last August. I think, realistically, they win nine and maybe slip into the SEC Championship Game by beating South Carolina in their final conference game. I’m being optimistic with that guess because if I don’t I will cry tears of pure acid. I don’t know how that’s possible, but it will happen. Four years of watching an inept offense will cause drastic physiological changes in a person.

Worst Case: Going into the Kentucky game, Florida only has six healthy scholarship players available. The Wildcats end their losing streak to Florida in a 41-10 blowout. Fans revolt and set everything on fire. The state of Florida descends into anarchy (more so than usual). Muschamp is captured and burned at the steak. Yes, I said steak because again, this state isn’t very bright. President Obama declares a state of emergency in Florida. Military personnel are sent in, but are no match for an army of angry Floridians on bath salts and meth. Nuclear weapons are drawn and a tweaker from Polk County hits the button sending the United States and the rest of the world back into the stone age. The numerous seismic explosions upset the Earth and volcanoes begin erupting, spewing ash into the sky that envelopes the planet like the candy around the gum of a Blow Pop. Earthquakes rip open the ground. The planet becomes unstable and slowly starts spinning off its axis. The core heats up before a massive explosion that sends chunks of Earth streaking through the solar system. The only thing that survives is #FSUTwitter who collectively tweets, “LOL, Gators! You suck!”

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Steve Spurrier will always be Spurrier, and we thank him for it

 

(Photo: Butch Dill,AP)

(Photo: Butch Dill,AP)

SEC Media Days is in Hoover, Ala. for the next three days and on Tuesday we got to to hear from our favorite Head Ball Coach. Everything from Davy Crockett and The Alamo, the USFL Bandits and everything in between was discussed. Here’s the best of the best from Spurrier on Tuesday.

On the importance of keeping big time donors happy:

“The big donors in college are similar to like an owner in the NFL because they put the money up. The best part of it, they don’t tell us what to do, though.  They’re sort of the owners from a distance.  They don’t tell you who to play, what plays to call, so forth.”

On the rivalry with Texas A&M and the Alamo Trophy the winner gets:

“I heard about it.  Read about it.  Didn’t know it’s official yet.  I’m actually from Tennessee.  I always was taught the hero of the Alamo was Davy Crockett, so this was a new one on me. It’s a good story, I’m sure Bonham did some good things.  I always thought Davie Crockett was the hero of the Alamo, he and those 33 Tennessee guys that came in there and got killed, so forth (!!!!). So the trophy was a little surprising to me.”

Whether or not South Carolina fans would rather beat Clemson or win the SEC each year:

“What I’ve also learned at South Carolina, our fans realize there’s more to life than winning the SEC championship.  They really do.  We’re in a state with Clemson.  Clemson used to pretty much own South Carolina in football, no question about it.  We have a state championship trophy.  If you ask our fans at South Carolina, I can assure you a majority would say, We would rather beat Clemson than win the SEC.  That is how big it is to them, that one game. Personally I’d rather win the SEC.  I don’t mind saying that. Personally that’s the bigger trophy.” 

On players leaving school early for the NFL:

Anytime one of them tells me he wants to go pro, I shake his hand, say, Good luck, I’m all for you. I think the days of a coach talking a kid into staying is not smart.  He could get hurt his last year.”

Texas A&M-Texas Rivalry:

“I think it’s a shame that Texas and Texas A&M don’t play each other, though.  I don’t mind saying that.  Two schools that have been playing for over a hundred years, just because one of them joins another conference, get mad at each other, We’re not playing you anymore, we’re not playing you anymore.  So I don’t know.  I think it is sad. Florida plays Florida State.  We play Clemson. Georgia plays Georgia Tech.  We’re in different conferences, but they are in‑state rivals.  The fans want to see that, to me.  They want to see you beat the guys next door, the neighbors.”

How important being a head coach with the USFL Bandits was for his career (And apparently USFL owners knew nothing about football):

“I’m pretty fortunate, very blessed still being a head coach, I guess. The USFL, it was a wonderful experience.  The owner, John Massey, a wonderful guy. I mean, he didn’t know football, didn’t pretend to know football.  He said, I’ll help you get whatever players you need and away we go.”

On former SC quarterback Stephen Garcia’s new long locks:

“One of our media guys asked about Stephen.  I saw him on TV last night.  He was interviewed by our local TV celebrity in Columbia there.  He got his long hair back.  I said it looked like he had joined Duck Dynasty instead of the media.  They assured me he’s with the media now.” 

Morgan Moriarty is a fourth year Telecommunications major at the University of Florida. She covers college football and recruiting for Florida Sports Talk Radio/NBC Sports. She is the lead recruiting reporter for The Alligator, and contributes for OurTwoBits.com. She is also on the University of Florida Women’s Club Water Polo Team. Her wedding song will without a doubt be the College Game Day theme music. After getting her undergrad at UF, she hopes to have a career in sports broadcasting. Find her on Twitter: @Morgan_Moriarty

 

 

 

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Two Gators get into a fight in Tampa…

They aren’t football players or any University of Florida athlete at all, but this is still pretty crazy to see. Gator on Gator crime…


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