If you have been following us this week you’ll know that we have been writing open letters to some of the coaches we thought would be good candidates for Urban Meyer’s job. I guess we should have posted this this morning or yesterday. Would have looked like a genius. Shooooooot!
Dear Coach MusCHAMP,
We’ve been watching your work at THE University of Texas and have decided that it’s time for you to stop waiting for Mack Brown to get bored or get hit by a Mack Truck. We love that you look disheveled all the time, and curse like a sailor. You have the whole Longhorn fan base fooled…You can’t just wait around for Mack to stroke-out. I think it’s time to point out a few more things to you…
1.) After the season Texas had you might as well jump ship. A lot of the Longhorn fans jumped around game number 8 anyways. THE University of Florida’s fan base is opinionated and passionate. We don’t jump ship. After all…”….In all kinds of weather, we all stick togther…”.
2.) You went to the University of Georgia for school, you coached at LSU and Auburn, it’s an absolute no-brainer that you need to take a head coaching gig here in the SEC.
3.) We lost 5 games and looked awful doing it and we’re playing on New Years Day. You’ll be bored in Texas during the holidays. :: coughs :: NotBowlEligible!
4.) Seriously. Texas is the Florida of the Big 12 anyways. Biggest school, most success, the deepest pockets. Plus we know you are tired of “Keeping Austin Weird”…we’ve been there…it is WEEEIIIIRRRRRRRRD!!!
5.) We know our last coach was Offensive-minded, but we don’t mind your Defensive style. Plus feel free to continue recruiting Texas along with Florida. We wouldn’t mind that at all.
6.) We are tired of the mustache ride. Please fire Addazio, and replace him with someone…anyone…perhaps a 9 year old with a PS3 controller…or even a chimp.
What time should I pick you up from Gainesville airport?
Don’t forget to leave that burnt orange color in Texas….it’s hideous. Orange and Blue is gonna look so good on you.
Well folks he’s already landed. Welcome aboard coach. This will be a polarizing hire, and we’ll be waiting until the Fall of 2011 (sounds far away doesn’t it) to find out what he can do with all of that Gator talent. We just wish we would have posted this letter earlier today.
BTW…ZERO chance we wrote this earlier today. Ha!