Breaking News: Cameron Newton

ESPN’s Joe Schad is reporting that Auburn QB and Heisman Trophy front runner Cam Newton and his father Cecil admitted in a phone conversation that Newton chose Auburn over Mississippi State because, “the money was too much” and that “a scholarship wasn’t enough”.

So, since this time last week, Newton has been accused of/rumored to have/or been tied to:

– Accepting money to attend Auburn instead of Mississippi State
– Cheating on 3 different exams/papers while at Florida and was on the verge of expulsion
– Clubbing baby seals in Antarctica
– Assisting President Nixon’s party during Watergate
– Not flushing after doing #2 at a crowded house party
– and this just in…

Cam Newton killed Nicole and Ron… not OJ.

It’s crazy, but follow this…
If voters sour on Newton in his Heisman Trophy run (think “Bush push”, but in a bad way), LaMichael James may win the Heisman for Oregon that Dennis Dixon should have won in 2007 when Tebow won it (Dixon tore his ACL with a month left to play). Tebow would then have to make a trip to Sam Bradford’s crib and commandeer the trophy he EARNED in 2008, but was not awarded because he had already won one. Bradford would then be left without one… too bad. Perhaps he could ask Eric Crouch for his from 2001, except…

I’m getting a call… this just in…
Cam Newton has also been accused of stealing Eric Crouch’s Heisman trophy.

What a mess. Am I a bad person to hope that we beat the Ole Ball Coach on Saturday and the NCAA moves faster than it has since they banned the flying wedge and rules Newton ineligible on Friday Dec. 2nd? Am I a jerk for wishing for that? OK…

I just hope one way or another, the truth comes out, but you know what they say about when there’s smoke, there’s fire. Someone pull a fire sprinkler… oh wait…

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