They Are Who We Thought They Were

If for some reason you are optimistic about the state of the football program at the University of Florida, you might want to see a doctor. There is something seriously wrong with you. No matter what you try to tell yourself, the decay is deep in Gainesville. Even the eternal optimists who predicted 8 or 9 wins because of health and a new offensive coordinator and better luck know this now. The past two games proved it unequivocally. They are who we thought they were.


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Don’t let the fact that Florida was tied with Alabama in the third quarter fool you. Don’t think the Gators “only” losing by 21 somehow shows improvement.  That was an utter and complete whipping the likes of which haven’t been seen in Gainesville in a long time 10 whole months. Alabama should have won that game by 50 or 60. The Tide’s numbers were staggering – 645 total yards, 449 passing yards, 28 first downs, 12 for 16 third-down conversions and 39:16 time of possession. The Gators’ numbers were right in line with what we’ve seen for a few years now – 200 total yards, 11 first downs, 9 for 28 passing, 3 turnovers. Florida showed zero competency on offense. Shockingly, they proved to be just as inept defensively. The one thing Will Muschamp could always hang his hat on – defense – is no longer a functioning unit. The blown coverages and big passing plays were obvious but what really killed were the missed tackles. I haven’t seen the stat anywhere but I’m guessing the Gators missed somewhere in the neighborhood of 20 tackles.

Jeff Driskel is a good person. He is a tough kid. He has dealt with a ton of adversity in Gainesville and always addressed it head on, with courage and conviction. I hope he has a long, happy life with a successful career in the field of his choosing. But he is not a quarterback who can play football in the SEC. He is not capable of reading the secondary and making the correct throw. He is not capable of reading fronts and knowing when to handoff and when to keep the ball on the read option. He is horribly inaccurate with any pass farther than 10 yards past the line of scrimmage. And there is no way on Earth the Gators can be a great team, let alone a good team, unless the rest of the offense performs at an elite level. Demarcus Robinson and Matt Jones did it against Kentucky and saved the day. Against Alabama, no one else on offense was even above average. No one could make a play. In fact despite all of Driskel’s struggles, the play that summarized the day for me was Quinton Dunbar’s drop on third down in the first quarter. Florida punted and Alabama’s next play was the bomb to Amari Cooper to tie the game at 14. If the Gators aren’t going to be elite at every other offensive position, they can’t be successful with a mediocre quarterback.

So where does this leave us? Well as the great Dennis Green said, we all have to admit Florida is what we thought they were. A deeply flawed program that resides in the middle of the SEC pack. The Gators have no shot of beating elite teams. They have little chance of betting even good to great teams, barring complete self-immolation on the part of the opponents (Bama tried this for a 32 minutes and still won by 21). The rest? Well, they will be rock fights and history suggests losses more often than wins. That means that when you look at the rest of the 2014 schedule, Florida is assured of only one more win the rest of the way. There is one guaranteed loss to Florida State and one highly likely loss to South Carolina. LSU, Missouri and Georgia are games that lean as likely losses. Only Tennessee and Vanderbilt are SEC games that are winnable, but as I said both will be close and Florida will need to be lucky at times in those games to win. We are a program that should feel good when it makes a bowl game and has a winning record. We are North Carolina. We are Iowa.

Add it all up and there is little doubt that Muschamp’s days are numbered. Jeremy Foley, as blind as he’s been, saw what we all saw tonight. I vividly remember the Fiesta Bowl against Nebraska in 1996 as I’m sure Foley does. And tonight was worse. It is appropriate that the final nail in Muschamp’s coffin was Lane Kiffin. The Muschamp era can be summed up by saying that he was outcoached by Kiffin and it wasn’t close. Like most life threatening illnesses, just because Florida will survive after Muschamp doesn’t mean the recovery will be easy. Whoever is the new coach in 2015 will find a program as far removed from contending for any kind of championship as the Gators have been since 1986. It took four long years of .500 records and a Hail Mary coaching hire of a once-in-a-lifetime genius to resurrect the program. That’s what the Gator Nation now faces.

Knowing what we know and knowing who we are might actually be a good thing. Last week, there was a lot of anger and unhappiness after Florida beat Kentucky in a thriller. But given the state of the program, that’s just stupid. We should have enjoyed every minute of that game and felt on top of the world after the win. That’s the approach each of us should take for the foreseeable future. A win, any win, is to be celebrated like a championship. Enjoy them when they happen. Because lately and for the near future, they don’t happen very often.

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We Want Bama? We Got Bama – Chomp Chat Episode 4

Andre+Debose+Alabama+v+Florida+kVyMLFWHG9Jl

Andre Debose catches a TD on the first play against Alabama in 2011.

Following Florida’s triple overtime thriller against Kentucky last Saturday, the Gators face arguably their toughest test of the season this weekend — on the road at Allllabama (Brent Musburger voice). The OTB trio of Lucas Dolengowski, Morgan Moriarty and Scott Francis welcome Gator Country’s Nick De La Torre to the program for the first time, as they size up UF’s chances of knocking off the 3rd ranked team in the country. This episode is perfect for your road trip to Tuscaloosa!  LISTEN AND SHARE!

 

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Phew.

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Photo courtesy of Gainesville Sun/Matt Stamey

Demarcus Robinson went beast mode with 15 catches for 216 yards and 2 TDs and the defense dodged some near-fatal bullets as the Gators – somehow – found a way to edge Kentucky, 36-30 in a triple overtime thriller.

Wildcats running back JoJo Kemp had some rather confident comments for the media earlier in the week, saying  “It’s going to be fun walking out with a victory and rubbing it in their faces.” Credit to Mark Stoops’ troops, because they came to play. It seemed like it all the makings of a streak-breaking stunner in The Swamp. On a night when so many things seemingly went UK’s way – dropped interceptions by Florida (at least five), penalty calls (and no-calls) and a 51 yard game tying field goal that banked in off the inside of the upright – the Gators refused to yell uncle. As I’m writing this, there were so many weird/awesome/lucky plays that keep coming to my mind:

  •  Florida realistically could have had six interceptions off Patrick Towles. Vernon Hargreaves dropped two (?!?!?!!!?!?), from what I recall.
  • The ridiculous busted coverage by the Gators secondary that led to a wide-open TD for Kentucky.
  • The pass that Jeff Driskel threw right to Wildcat corner Fred Tiller who somehow didn’t catch it, then deflected perfectly into the hands of Demarcus Robinson.
  • I’m still baffled as to how the ridiculously blatant late hit on Kelvin Taylor wasn’t called a penalty.
  • The very first play of overtime: The Florida defense had Stanley Williams dead to rights in the backfield, but a couple missed tackles allowed Williams to reverse the entire field and score a touchdown. You could hear a pin drop after that.
  • The play of the game, obviously, was Driskel to Robinson on 4th The Gators had no timeout to use and were scrambling to get to the line, but somehow they got the snap off and Driskel made (by far) his best throw of the night.
  • Brian Poole’s GREAT pass break up in the corner of the end zone on 3rd down in the 3rd overtime period, right before the missed field goal by Austin MacGinnis.
  • That missed field goal from MacGinnis. Wide right!

The first 30 minutes of this game were a slugfest; the score was 3-3 at the half. The 3rd quarter, on the other hand, was wrought with nonsense and plenty of offense – a combined 31 points before “We Are The Boys.” The 4th quarter? Two Keanu Neal interceptions, two missed field goals by UF (one apiece from Hardin and Velez) and three total points. The overtime session produced an array of emotions so rangy, you might as well have been watching an episode of “Breaking Bad.” But in the end, it was jubilation for the Orange and Blue when Matt Jones punched it in the end zone for the walk-off win.

Plenty of Gator fans were griping both during and after the game about the victory. With the current state of Florida football, I understand people’s concern. Florida had defeated Kentucky in 27 straight contests (now 28) and we almost saw that go down the drain on Saturday night. Was it a pretty win? Certainly not. But it was a win nonetheless, and an SEC victory too. The Gators are still 2-0. And you should be content with that. We will see what these boys are truly made of next Saturday in Tuscaloosa.

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You Never Forget Your First Gators Game

Entering Ben Hill Griffin Stadium for the first time, I had no idea what awaited me inside. I was a high school senior, only 16 at the time, and this was my first trip to Gainesville and of course my first Gators football game. As excited as I was, there was just no way I could have known how much the experience would impact me and change the course of my life.

My buddy Joel was a student already and invited us for Homecoming. My friend Ski and I drove five hours from Lake Worth taking the long way up I-95 and across on State Road 40. The leisurely route mostly through the less populated portion of the state made it seem like I was a lot farther from home than 300 miles. Compared to South Florida, the stretch from north of Jupiter to Ormand Beach and then across through the Ocala National Forest seemed as desolute as the moon. I remember passing Micanopy along 441 and seeing Paynes Prairie for the first time and wondering if Gainesville was a city or an outpost in the African savanna.

Welcome to Paynes Prairie

Welcome to Paynes Prairie

It was shocking how quickly the University sprung up as we made our way up 13th Street. Within minutes, we pulled onto campus and circled the parking lot in front of Broward Hall (which apparently doesn’t exist anymore). We spent a few minutes trying to reach our buddy via the call box outside Broward and when he didn’t answer, we had no choice but to settle down on the curb and wait for him (love you pre-cell era). This was a great decision because it allowed me my first glimpse of college students in their natural habitat. People came and went as I watched in awe. Pizza deliveries at 10pm, beautiful girls everywhere, no adults anywhere, complete and total freedom.

Friday was my first glimpse of campus in the daylight. Century Tower seemed to punctuate my giddiness like a giant exclamation point rising overhead. I soaked it all in, blown away by the contrast between the hustle and bustle of the masses headed to and from class with the serenity of the trees and expanses of open space around the Reitz Union and the Plaza of the Americas. Later that night was my first college party experience at Regency Oaks. I was nervous as hell, assuming people would stare and wonder why such a young kid was hanging around. But in fact, it was just the opposite. No one cared, everyone was cool and the beer flowed well into the wee hours.

As game time approached on Saturday, I was drunk on the enormity of the entire experience (and a couple Natural Lights). All that I had seen and experienced didn’t seem real. And maybe it wasn’t, maybe I had imagined and dreamed most of it. And there was still the final experience, the reason we were there in the first place. The Game. We must have passed a thousand RVs parked along Archer Road. People seemed to multiply the closer we got, every square inch of campus seemingly filled with tailgaters. As we made our way up North-South Drive from Museum Road, the stadium grew, filling the sky. Flesh pressed flesh as I waited at Gate 14 to enter.

When I stepped into the stands for the first time, the first thing I noticed were the angular orange walls rising up with slogans declaring “This is Gator Country” and “Home of the Florida Gators”. The newly installed Sunshine Seats, which had just opened that season, loomed to the right and the press box was straight ahead, creating an enormous enclosed space that literally sucked my breath away. The band was playing, people were clapping along and the players… my God, the players. I played football my whole life until I was 15 and was friends with most of the guys on our high school team. But those kids on the field were giants. Our seats were so close, I could smell the grass and taste the Gatorade. As kickoff neared, the Orange and Blue chant began. I had attended many Dolphins games as a kid so organized chants in a huge stadium were new to me. Sure we did them at our high school games but it was with one side of the bleachers. “Blue” shot from our side, only to be eclipsed by the roar of “Orange” from the alumni side crashing over us like a ten-foot wave.

Still my favorite font for the stadium walls. Keep in mind the now ubiquitous "Work Em Silly Gators" sign didn't appear until 1993.

Still my favorite font for the stadium walls. Keep in mind the now ubiquitous “Work Em Silly Gators” sign didn’t appear until 1993.

Then the band began a familiar refrain, one I had heard on television but never before experienced. Biology is a wonderful thing. Instincts kick in and young birds can fly, baby spiders spin webs and just hatched turtles crawl for the ocean. For Gators fans, when the tubas and trombones begin to play, the body just naturally knows what to do – arms outstretch, right over left, up and down to the beat. I had no control, nature was in charge.

The game eventually began. Florida clobbered a Northern Illinois squad that was years away from becoming the MAC juggernaut we know today. Harrison Houston was one of my favorite players and he caught a touchdown in the corner of the end zone in front of us. Willie Jackson and Errict Rhett scored as well. At the end of the third quarter, I had no idea what was happening but my friends talked me through my first “We are the Boys” and the spectacle of everybody in the stadium, swaying arm-in-arm was overwhelming. Being a part of that, with 85,000 friends I’d never met and never would, was exhilarating.

The Gators won in a rout 41-10. Afterward because of 13 penalties in the game, the Head Ball Coach said, “We looked stupid out there. I told our coaches we must have looked like the worst-coached team in America. I was embarrassed to be coach of this bunch.” Spurrier was the greatest even back then in only his second season in Gainesville.

When I got back home, I knew I was a Gator. I knew all my other college applications were pointless and that acceptance to UF was all that mattered. A month or two later, I received the letter in the mail and the transformation was complete.

I never spent much time wondering about what would have happened if I never made that first trip to Gainesville until two weeks ago when I took my sons – ages 8 and 6 – on their first trip to Gainesville for their first Gators game. We live in California and although we visit Florida once every year or two, it isn’t usually during football season because they are in school. Plus, I wanted to wait until they were older and would appreciate the experience more. I planned out the trip this year knowing that our only shot was the season opener before school started after Labor Day. And I figured why not make it a bit of a reunion with some of my old friends and their families as well.

We rolled into Gainesville on Friday afternoon. The weather forecast was sketchy for the entire weekend, but I grew up in Florida and knew rain cleared out quickly this time of year and there was really nothing to worry about. While my kids spent time with their grandmother and my wife napped in the hotel room, I strolled around campus by myself, lost in past memories and dreaming of my kids one day creating their own. The rain began to fall and I parked myself on a bench outside Library West looking out at the peaceful Plaza of the Americas. I was happy the rain came Friday, figuring we’d be in the clear the rest of the weekend because of it.

UF's campus really is one of the most beautiful in the world

UF’s campus really is one of the most beautiful in the world

Saturday was absolutely glorious. The late game meant we had time for some tailgating, mixed in with a stroll around campus to show the boys the beauty of it. First mission was to find an alligator and we lucked out in the pond next to Graham Hall.

A four-footer wading in the Graham Pond

A four-footer wading in the Graham Pond

That little guy was the first gator the kids had ever seen that wasn’t at a zoo. We toured Turlington Plaza and the Rock (six-year-old “yeah, so, it’s a rock) and Century Tower (eight-year-old “it isn’t as tall as I thought it would be”).

"Hey kids, Daddy used to ride his bike right through here" "Who cares Dad!"

“Hey kids, Daddy used to ride his bike right through here”
“Who cares Dad!”

We tailgated with my old friends Tom, Michelle, Jim, Jason, Kik, Bryan and their families for a few hours. It was great catching up and reliving old stories but the real joy was in watching my boys interact with the other kids. After the initial chill, my oldest son broke the ice and eventually the boys were off and running together in a pack. It was Tom and Michelle’s sons first game ever too so this was a bond they’d all share together.

It is easy to make friends when you wear orange and blue

It is easy to make friends when you wear orange and blue

Hot and sunny all day, sure enough as game time approached, the temperature dropped, the wind picked up and the sky darkened.  Before we even made it inside the Swamp, the game had been delayed. Hours ticked by but I was not giving up hope. We had come too far. We wanted this too much. I needed this too much. Eventually, the tweets began that the game was going to start at 9:50 pm. We hustled back with kids in tow as fast as we could but didn’t make it in time for the kickoff. Before we entered the gates, the game was delayed once more. By now, the very real possibility that the game was going to be canceled was starting to set in.

This time we decided to wait it out inside the stadium. It was hardly the grand entrance I had experienced 23 years prior. There were still thousands of people mulling around but everyone was dazed, confused and exhausted. Every lightning strike pierced another hole in our hearts. The rain was still falling and the exhaustion weighed heavily on all of us, especially the kids. I felt like Clark Griswold. I wasn’t just going to ignore the moose telling me the park was closed, I was going to punch it in the face and get us inside if it was the last thing I ever did. I dragged the kids down to our seats and we waited for only a few minutes in the rain before the public address announcer delivered the final, crushing blow. My kids would not see their first Gators game. They would not do the Gator Chomp or sing “We are the Boys”. They wouldn’t marvel at the size of the players, the size of the crowd or the size of the stadium. The dream was over.

At least we had good seats to see the rain fall and pool up on the field

At least we had good seats to see the rain fall and pool up on the field

I’m still not over our lost trip and probably won’t ever be. The kids are just fine in the way that kids always are. They had a good time in Gainesville, had fun meeting new people, enjoyed seeing my old home. But me? Nah. Because I know that if I could have given them that first experience, that first time, they would have been Gators for life. Because we live so far away, there is a very good chance they won’t share my affection for UF, let alone attend it some day. This was my chance but it didn’t happen.

When Florida and Eastern Michigan kicked off Saturday, my wife asked my oldest son if he wanted to sit and watch some of the game with me instead of going outside to play with his friends. As if the kid could read my mind, he replied “No thanks. Maybe if I had actually seen the Gators play…” There is no maybe about it, son. You never forget your first Gators game.

If you are in Gainesville now, never take a game for granted. Live life like each and every game is your first. Enjoy it for all of us who would do anything to be there but can’t be. As for me, all is not lost. I’ll get the family back. And when those boys finally do see it, I’m going to see it through their eyes for the first time. How sweet that will be.

Editor’s note – Considering this is the week the #GatorsAlways video was launched, this post fits right in with that theme. We wish we were smart enough to time it that way but it just worked out (through procrastination mostly since I wanted to write this last week). If you haven’t seen the incredible video yet, check it out. Always share your memories of your first Gators game with us in the comments below or tweet them to us @OurTwoBits and @shawn_kopelakis using #GatorsAlways.

 

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Uniform Drama & Chomp Chat Episode 3

Orange_Gators

Florida had an incredible first game. Excitement in every quarter. A 65-0 drumming of Eastern Michigan. Florida “kicks-off” its SEC Schedule against Kentucky on Saturday at 7:30pm on SEC Network. For a solid recap of the Eastern Michigan game and what to look forward to against Kentucky, please listen to the 3rd installment of the “Chomp Chat” podcast.

UNIFORMS. HELMETS. JERSEYS. PANTS. AND SHOES.

debose

Some uniform news. Because some people actually care about what their favorite football team wears. The rumor on social media is that the Florida Gators will be breaking out the Orange Jerseys for Kentucky. Students and fans are calling for an Orange Out. We’ll see if there is official news from the program later in the week on the topic. Don’t buy into the curse of the Orange Jerseys.  Florida should be able to beat Kentucky for the 28th time in a row playing in their underwear.

And for even more ridiculousness, take a look at what the Tennessee Vols are going to wear against Florida in a few weeks (Editor’s Note: This is the retail version of the jersey that that Vols plan to wear.)…

Smokey

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Florida Football is fun again

HappyGators1

Picture Courtesy of Ryan Jones

It had been 336 days since Florida last won a football game. On Saturday afternoon in The Swamp, Gator Nation let out a huge collective sigh of relief – and excitement – as Will Muschamp’s guys absolutely demolished Eastern Michigan, 65-0.

After some weather forecasts called for a 100% chance of rain in Gainesville on Saturday afternoon, many Florida fans were hoping lightning wouldn’t be a factor either. We didn’t need that, especially not for a second straight week. But the football gods finally found favor in the Orange and Blue as the dark clouds somehow skirted around Ben Hill Griffin Stadium. The sun even peeked through for a while; it was hot, but I doubt anyone in venue objected to the temperature. We were watching football – and high quality football at that.

Check out these numbers courtesy of ESPN Stats & Info:
-65 points are the most since 2008
-655 total yards are the most since 2010
-33 pass completions and 47 pass attempts are both the most since 2002
-6 plays of 30+ yards are the most since 2008

11 different players hauled in a pass, with Demarcus Robinson leading the way with 6 catches for 123 yards and a TD. No player had more than 10 carries on the ground, but the top three rushers (Taylor, Jones and Brown) each had a run over 30 yards and the Gators as a whole racked up 259 rushing yards. The passing game was solid too. I don’t think Jeff Driskel played all that great (just 5.5 yards per completion), but he avoided silly turnovers was efficient enough (68% completions) to make Gator fans very happy. Freshman QB Treon Harris may have had the best mop-up performance ever: 2 for 2, 148 yards and 2 TDs. One of those was a nice deep ball to Robinson who shrugged off the defender and walked into the end zone, and the other was a post pattern bullet to Mark Herndon, who split the safeties and housed it.

That defense played alright too. They held EMU to 125 total yards, forced 5 turnovers and pitched their first shutout since 2012. 31 different defensive players saw the field. D.J. Durkin’s crew played angry and executed the schemes to near-perfection. Linebacker Neuron Ball led the way with six tackles, two sacks and a forced fumble. Freshman DB Duke Dawson had a pick six in his first career game. That is what an SEC defense is supposed to do against a much weaker opponent. Not much more needs to be said, other than that Gator Nation should feel confident about this unit moving forward.

Sans two kickoffs out of bounds from Austin Hardin, special teams were very good. Fresh off his brand new scholarship, Francisco Velez went 3 for 3 on his field goals and Kyle Christy punted the ball like he did in 2012. In other news, the sky is blue, water is wet and Andre Debose is still very dangerous in the return game. The sixth year senior nearly sent the stadium into a frenzy in the 3rd quarter with a punt return that made at least five EMU defenders look silly. It was #4 on SportsCenter’s Top 10 Plays, and probably could have been #1 if he reached the end zone. Regardless, we’ll see Debose do plenty of that this season.

Now before fans start touting UF as a team that could win the SEC after one game, Eastern Michigan is not exactly a quality football team. In Will Muschamp’s tenure at Florida, his teams have usually had issues with penalties. That did not change on Saturday: 10 penalties for 100 yards. It was overshadowed by the great play in every other aspect of the game, but it’s something that should be noted. The Gators did not exit the day unscathed on the injury front either. Heralded tight end transfer Jake McGee brought a lot of promise to the position that was virtually non-existent last season, but he went down in the second quarter with a broken leg. He is out for the season. Left tackle D.J. Humphries also sustained a bone chip in his ankle that will sideline him for two to three weeks (that may include the Alabama game). In 2012, the big motto from Muschamp in reference to injuries was “man down, man up.” In 2013, it seemed like it was just “man down, man down.” We shall see what happens in 2014.

For now there are positives aplenty for Florida fans, who have justifiable reason to be very excited about Kurt Roper’s offense as they face tougher defenses down the line. Something else that should be fun? This week’s Chomp Chat podcast (Episode 1 | Episode 2)! SHAMELESS PLUG! We’d love to get your thoughts on the Eastern Michigan game and what you might expect to see against Kentucky next Saturday, so shoot us an email at thechompchat@gmail.com and we’ll address your question on the program. Also, our question of the week from the previous show: What’s the strangest scenario (weather or otherwise) you’ve encountered at a University of Florida athletic event? Send your stories to that same address. Be sure to tune into the show and share with your friends!

P.S. If you’re attending the game against Kentucky, WEAR ORANGE!

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In All Kinds of Weather – Chomp Chat Podcast Episode 2

The “rain out” of the Idaho game can be described in one tweet…

Take a listen to Chomp Chat Podcast Episode 2 properly entitled “In All Kinds of Weather”!!! Relive the the weather experience, but enjoy the Eastern Michigan preview as well…

 

And because God wants to make things interesting…check out the weather forecast for THIS Saturday…
Weather

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#ChompChat Transcript

On Wednesday August 27th Adam Silverstein from OnlyGators.com and Andy Hutchins from AlligatorArmy.com along with our very own Scott Francis from OurTwoBits.com participated in a Twitter Chat, answering GATOR NATION’s questions about Gator Football. Enjoy. Read from bottom to top.


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What is Chomp Chat?

The term “Gator Nation” is often used to describe the close knit family-like atmosphere of being a part of the University of Florida culture and “way of life”. It’s a big draw, and it creates an incredible feeling to be a part of that legacy.

Here’s a dirty little secret: that close knit family-like atmosphere does not always necessarily extend to the journalists and fan blog sites that cover the University of Florida. Whether its the pressure to break the story first or take a new angle on an existing story or just general personality conflicts these rifts are noticeable through sniping via social media or flat out ignoring the existence of another Gator entity; some folks just do not get along. And I think we can all agree that that is NOT what Gator Nation is about. The ones most hurt by this are the Gator fans, whether they are aware of it or not.

As an exercise in co-operation, in an effort to heal wounds, but most importantly to provide more value back to Gator Nation as a whole….”Chomp Chat” was born. Chomp Chat started as a formal twitter chat utilizing the #ChompChat hashtag. Gators fans online can submit questions the day of the chat or even during the chat and have them answered by various journalists and fan sites that follow the Gators religiously.

Chomp Chat has become widely popular and has already been praised by Gatorzone, the official Florida Athletics website, and current/past athletes. The third instance of the chat is happening this week with @OnlyGators, @AlligatorArmy, and @OurTwoBits answering your questions. Please join us…

ChompChat

In an effort to continue the good will and offer a non-social media related platform, a Chomp Chat podcast has also been launched. The first episode hit the internet this week and features University of Florida students Lucas Dolengowski and Morgan Moriarty, along with Andy Hutchins from AlligatorArmy.com and Scott Francis from OurTwoBits.com.  Gator fans can find the audio here…

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Gator “Summer Nights”

[scene opens with defensive coaches sitting in bleachers after practice chatting] Defense DJ Durkin: “Hey, I wanna hear about what Will did in the offseason.” [The other defensive coaches begin to clamor] Will Muschamp: “Ah, it was nothing.” Brad Lawing: “Aw, sure, nothing, Muschamp, right?” Travaris Robinson: “C’mon, Will. You got a new offensive coordinator, right?” Durkin: “Yeah, c’mon, c’mon, tell us about that OC.” [cut to the offensive coaches in the cafeteria] Offense Chris Leak: “What’d you do this offseason, Kurt?” Kurt Roper: “Oh, I spent most of it here in Gainesville. I met a coach here.” Brian White: “You hauled your cookies all the way here to Gainesville for some coach?” Roper: “He was sorta special.” White: “There ain’t no such thing.” Roper: “He was really likable.” [cut back to defensive coaches begging Muschamp for details] Muschamp: “C’mon, you don’t wanna hear all the boring details.” [The coaches continue to prod him] Muschamp: “Alright! I’ll tell you!”

♫ Offseason love had me a blast Offseason love happened so fast I met an OC crazy for me Met a coach sad as can be

Pro-style days drifting away To, uh oh, those up-tempo nights

Well-a well-a well-a huh Will we score, will we score? Will we get very far? Will we score, will we score? Is Jeff Driskel a star?

He came from Duke, looked good in camp He called me up, “This is Muschamp.” Please save my job, I’m going to drown He needs points, and some first downs

Summer sun, something’s begun But, oh, oh, the up-tempo nights

Well-a well-a well-a huh Will we score, will we score? Can you fix this shit show? Will we score, will we score? Will we beat Idaho?

Gonna throw deep touchdowns all day We’ll hurry up and run every play Scoring points would be a shock Let’s all pray that the line blocks

The spring game, don’t mean a thing But, oh, oh, the up-tempo nights

Will we score, will we score? We’ve got some tricks in the bag Will we score, will we score? Last year made us all gag

We”ll score fifty with so much ease We’ll all forget about Brent Pease Will said he won’t intervene Kurt is good, you know what I mean?

Summer heat, two coaches meet But, oh, oh, the up-tempo nights

Will we score, will we score? Are we bucking the trend? Will we score, will we score? Tell me, how does this end?

The season nears, time to compete This has to work or we’re deadmeat Then we made our coaching vow We know we have to win now

Pro-style dreams ripped at the seams But, oh, oh, those up-tempo niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiights Will we score, will we scoooooorrrrrrrre? ♫

– This exercise in creative writing was done by Blake Edwards and the creator of the Muschamp Intensity Meter.

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